At a wedding I officiated at years ago was a very precocious seven-year-old who was the ring bearer. At the wedding rehearsal, the soloist asked when she should begin singing, and I told her that it was “After the vows.”

 She wanted a more specific answer, and asked: “What do the vows sound like? I’ll need a cue.”  At which the precocious seven-year-old turned to the soloist, and with an exasperated look, said: “Vowels sound like A-E-I-O-U. Q is not a Vowel!”

 We never know what to expect from a child.  One teacher learned that the hard way. One day there was a big snowstorm and she used the event as a teaching moment about how not to play too long in frigid weather.

 She said: “Children, you must be careful about colds and overexposure. I had a little brother who went out into the cold and snow with his new sled and stayed out too long. He caught a cold, then pneumonia set in, and three days later he died.”

 For a moment the class sat in awed silence. Then a hand shot up in the back of the room and a youngster asked: “What happened to his sled?”

 Children will surprise you. And sometimes they will drive you out of your mind. Has anyone ever had difficulty with one of your children? Of course.  Have any of you kids ever had trouble with your parents? Of course!

 Generational issues are a part of being a family. Even in the very best of families there is tension.

 It’s natural for there to be tension between young people and their parents. You know why God had Abraham take his only son Isaac to the mountain to sacrifice him when Isaac was 12?  Because if Isaac had been a teenager at 15, Abraham may have actually gone through with it.

 Just because there is tension, however, doesn’t mean that young people don’t need their parents . . . And vice versa. We need one another.

Now, it is true that teens today are better informed than previous generations. But there’s still a mountain of misinformation out there about vital issues of importance to young people.

 Even more importantly, there are more temptations for today’s youth than any generation before has had to confront. And even if a young person is equipped with all the knowledge in the world, there is that maturity gap. Sometimes they need someone who is older, who has been there before, and now has the perspective to offer guidance.

 Admittedly, not every parent is a good guide to follow. Parents can be flawed. But it is vital to keep the lines of communication open.

It is natural for there to be tension between the generations, but we need one another more than we can ever imagine.

 And we need to know that someone is there for us.  All of us need that understanding, regardless of our age or outlook.

 A few years ago Tom Beaudoin wrote a book titled Virtual Faith. He was writing about his own generation, which has been dubbed Generation X. He said that the most fundamental question young people today ask is: “Will you be there for me?”

He said, “We ask . . . parents, friends, partners, society, religions, leaders, nation, and even God: ‘Will you be there for me?’"  1

 All of us at every age ask this question of one another as well as of God. When we are young, we ask it of our parents. When we are aged, we ask it of our children. Will you be there for me?

 Writer Adair Lara says that children, when they are young, behave like dogs. What she means is that when children are young, they’re affectionate and love being around you. But when they hit the teen years they start acting like cats distant and finicky. They make you feel unneeded.

 Still, your teenager needs you and your affection, she says. Just change your approach. Be available and let them come to you. When they do, don’t smother them or cling too tightly. Let them have their moods and offer them understanding. The teen animal, says Ms. Lara, can be tamed with your unconditional love.

 Barbara, an Elder in a very well to do and proper church, says that her son David’s favorite color is black. His clothes are mainly black and he wears the big wide leg pants with lots of metal studs and all. He has big chains and collars that look like dog collars. He dye’s his hair blood red, sometimes very black, sometimes teal.

One of the grandmothers at her church pulled Barbara aside one day and said, “Now Barbara remember that this is how David needs to express himself. He’s searching for his identity, and it cannot look like you. And remember that it’s only hair and clothes and that he’s still coming to church. So pick your battles carefully.”

 And then this grandmother told Barbara about her grown son, whose father had a fit when the son’s hair was shoulder length in high school. She said, “I told my husband . . . it’s just hair. Let him have it while he still can.” And they laughed remembering that the grandmother’s husband was as bald as a bowling ball.

 Months later, when another man in the church, Jerry, died of cancer, David was greatly saddened. Barbara didn’t know the connection and asked why he was so upset. David told her that Jerry was the one grown-up who would come and talk to him during coffee hour.

Didn’t matter how weird David looked, Jerry would come over and ask him how school was going and talk about lots of things, but never . . . never how David looked. He was one of the reasons David kept coming to church.

 Every young person needs to run into a Jerry, someone who will accept them unconditionally, just as God accepts each of us unconditionally. We are proud of our young people, and thank God for them. Sometimes there can be tension, though, in families. That’s natural, as we can see in Jesus’ family. Still, we need one another.

 We need to answer the question affirmatively, “Will you be there for me?” We need to be there for one another as God is there for each of us.

1.  (Jossey-Bass, 2000), pg. 140.