Welcome to worship on this Valentine’s Day, 2010. That’s a gentle reminder to the husbands in the congregation who may have forgotten.  And because I want to be inclusive this morning, I should give a gentle reminder to the single guys in the congregation.

According to a knowledgeable authority on the subject of dating, there are some things you should NOT say on your Valentine Date this evening. Things like . . .

·                    I really don’t like this restaurant that much, but I had to use this 2-for-1 coupon before it expired.  Or…

·                    I used to come here all the time with my ex. Or…

·                    I never said you NEEDED a nose job. I just said it wouldn’t hurt to consider it.

·                    I really feel that I’ve grown in the past few years. Used to be I wouldn’t have given someone like you a second look.

·                    It’s been tough, but I’ve come to accept that most people I date just won’t be as smart as I am.

I’m just saying that those are some phrases you may not want to hear come out of your mouth this evening.  And if you do, perhaps that’s why you’re still single.

People who are in love want to put on their best face. Don’t they? Quite naturally, people want to portray themselves as attractive. Many singles today are going to online dating sites. Now, do you imagine that the people who use these online dating sites go there to advertise their flaws? Of course not.

A study of 30,000 users of one mainstream dating site revealed the following. People who use Internet dating sites are taller, richer, skinnier and better looking than the average Joe or Jolene - at least that is what they say on their profiles.

For example, 4% of online daters claim to earn more than $200,000 per year when in fact fewer than 1% of typical Internet users actually earn that much. 28% of the women on the site claim to be blond, a number that is far beyond the national average.  70% of women and 67% of men rank themselves as having “above average” looks. It’s enough to make you a little suspicious.

It appears, however, that people have gotten wise to personal data on these dating sites that might be, shall we say, misleading. The number one way to fail at online dating, according to this study, is to omit posting your picture. Describing yourself as attractive does not carry nearly the weight as an actual picture of yourself.

The study shows that a low‑income, poorly educated, un‑happily employed, not very attractive, slightly overweight balding man who posts his photo stands a better chance of getting a date than a man who says he makes $200,000 a year, says he is deadly handsome but does not post a photo.

People who are looking for a mate want to put on their best face. Nothing unnatural about that.  But here’s something we need to see: no matter how beautiful you may be, your face reveals what’s in your heart.  Some people have a “poker face” where it’s harder to read their face for clues to what’s going on inside of them.  But more often than not what’s in your heart spills out to your face.

Annette Simmons wrote a book about storytelling a few years back. In it she deals not only with the content of stories, but also how to tell those stories. And part of storytelling, says Simmons, is body language. This leads her to say some interesting things about the face.

She notes that a baby can perceive emotional content (anger, fear, love) from facial expressions long before he or she can understand words. You can tell a baby while you’re feeding it that you like strained liver, but your face gives you away.

Your face, says Ms. Simmons, is a communication tool that transcends verbal language and cultural barriers. “You can communicate emotional content in a split second. You don’t have to describe it. You don’t have to say in your story, ‘I was happy when I saw she had finished the report.’ You simply have to say, ‘She finished’ with a big grin on your face, and happiness is communicated.

“But . . . every powerful tool has a good news/bad news aspect.  If you feel it, it’ll register in your face. If you don’t respect someone, no matter how big a smile you paint on your face, the lack of respect shows through. If you’re hopeless, despondent, or frustrated, yet trying to inspire others to enthusiasm, no matter how great your story is your hopelessness shows through and corrupts your message . . .

“Actors and actresses don’t study the anatomy of which muscles paint joy on their face. They study how to conjure up joy in their mind because they know that when they feel joy, joy will show on their face.

When you tell a story of hope you need to feel hope in your heart to communicate it. If you try to tell a story of hope while you are feeling frustrated, you communicate the frustration rather than the hope . . ."  1

In other words, you can’t fool your face.  Under some circumstances you may be able to hide your emotions, but sooner or later what’s in your heart spills out to your face.

In one of our lessons Moses has been on Mount Sinai . The name Sinai comes from a root word meaning “to shine.” Moses has been in the presence of God and God has given him the Ten Commandments.

The writer of Exodus tells us that when Moses descended from the mountain “with the two tablets of the Testimony in his hands, he was not aware that his face was radiant because he had spoken with the LORD.”  Moses’ face glowed so much that when his brother Aaron and the Israelites saw Moses they were afraid to come near him. He had to put a veil over his face.

You can’t fool your face.

Not only is this Valentine’s Day, this is also Transfiguration Sunday. In our New Testament lesson from Luke, Jesus is on a mountain with Peter, John and James. As He prays, the appearance of his face changes and his clothes become as bright as a flash of lightning.

Luke tells us that Moses and Elijah appear with him “in glorious splendor.” Peter, John and James were sleepy, he says, “but when they became fully awake, they see his glory and the two men standing with him.”

Jesus not only had a glowing face. On the mountain of Transfiguration his whole being radiated with God’s glory. Jesus lived continually in the presence of God. Of course you and I cannot be Jesus, but we can be like Moses. We can spend so much time in God’s presence that our face literally glows with the light of God.

We say that a person has a healthy glow. When we are young that might be primarily physical. I suggest to you that as we age this same glow is primarily spiritual. If you live in the presence of God, it’s going to show.

Living in the presence of God doesn’t just affect how others see you, it also affects how you see them. It’s interesting that Jesus, who lived continually in the presence of God, was also the most accepting and loving man who ever lived.

James Lee Burke wrote a book titled White Doves at Morning. Set in Civil War days, there’s a character named Willie Burke, a white Southerner deeply opposed to the institution of slavery.

There is a scene early in the book in which Willie Burke brings a book to Flower, a slave whom he has been teaching to read and write. Flower shares a portion of the journal she has begun to keep, and Willie tells her she is a poet.  Seeing Flower’s puzzled expression, Willie goes on to say, “A poet is a person who sees radiance when others only see objects.”

Seems to me an apt description for people of faith who see the radiance and glory of God in the world around them when others only see random and unrelated objects. In the beauty of creation, in the gift of one another, in the promise of a new day, in the challenge of a new opportunity - people of faith  see the radiance, the glory, and the wonder of God all around them.

I’ve noticed that about many of the saints I’ve known through the years. Not only can you see the radiance of God’s love in them, but they seem to see the radiance of God in those they meet. They sometimes seem naïve, almost childlike in their dealings with others. Often they’re taken advantage of, but they leave the world a better place because they’ve walked this earth and touched other’s lives.

Do you know what I am talking about? Do you understand that what’s in your heart spills out to your face?  Do you look for the good in the people around you?

Yes, I believe you do.  I can see it on your face, and know it’s in your heart.

 1.  The Story Factor: Secrets of Influence from the Art of Storytelling ( New York , NY : Basic Books, 2001).